Brighton is a very interesting place to observe people. When I am there, it’s easy to see all kinds of friendships around me. Some are obviously very deep while many seem more casual. This has made me think a lot about what it means to be a really good friend to someone. Got any thoughts?

Good Friend Wannabe

A: Dear Wannabe,

     What a great question!!! It is wonderful that you want to be a better friend, and I think a lot of other students probably feel the same way. So, let’s talk about some ways that we can improve our friendship skills. When people talk about someone being a really good friend, the traits that they often mention are loyalty and empathy. To be a good friend means that you’ll stand by your friends through thick and thin. Of course, we need friends to laugh with too, but we need our friends even more when life gets rough. We all have difficult times in our life, and sometimes having a faithful friend by your side can make all the difference during those periods. 
     The Bible says, “Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble” (Ecclesiastes 6:9-10, NLT). The true test of friendship is whether someone will come along side you when things in your life get messy. A true friend will listen to your woes and really try to understand what you are going through. At the same time, though, true friends will be the first ones to celebrate with you when you succeed and your life is going great. We all need this type of friend, and we all need to be this kind of friend to others.
     So, how do we become a really, truly great friend? Let’s start with one of the simplest yet most important ways to develop better relationship skills: learn to listen. In a world and culture that is increasingly ME-centric, it is very important that we don’t get so caught up in our own opinions, troubles, joys, etc., that we are always the talker when we are with others. People who only talk about themselves don’t have friends; they have audiences.  We need to remember that our friends have just as many ideas and experiences as we do, and there is a lot we can learn from them, if we just stop and listen. True friendship is give and take, and we cannot treat our friends as if they exist only to listen to what we have to say.
     Another important aspect of being a good friend is to really get to know your friend. Sometimes, we can spend hours and hours hanging out with people, and yet, we never really get to know them. Start making the extra effort to learn about your friends. What are their likes and dislikes? How about their favorite type of candy?  What’s their favorite sports team, and why that team? If you set out to really get to know your friends inside out, you may be pleasantly surprised by what you learn about them. 
     Friendship skills will be important to you for your entire life and making the effort to develop them now will make developing relationships much easier down the road. I hope this gives you some helpful tips on ways to become a better friend. Friends are a gift. Cherish them, and you’ll never regret it.

Dear Readers: In this issue, we have a question for YOU! This was submitted by a reader who wondered how many people could solve it. Here is the question: There are 7 girls who get on a bus. Each girl is carrying 7 backpacks. Each backpack contains 7 mother cats, and each mother cat has 7 baby cats. How many legs are on the bus?  Do you know? Submit your answers to askannieatbrighton@gmail.com. Answers will be published in next month’s issue.▲

Have a comment on this month’s column? Would you like to see your question in an upcoming issue of the Brighton Star?? Submit your opinions and questions to Ask Annie @ askannieatbrighton@gmail.com